AM I SETTLED OR AM I WAITING FOR DEATH ?
These days I have begun to think.. or atleast I think I have begun to think :)
Think of ? My future of course.. Think of my future because neither do I have a past to be the proudest of nor am I the Bill Gates of the present to be extremely busy and not worry of my future.. So I let the devil into my workshop and thought of finding the purpose for which I live..
It is then some strange and irritating questions hit me.. Am I living too much for the “name” that would be given when I am no longer a part of this world.. ? Have I moulded myself too much for the rules of the society ? Am I the one of those who is walking the road that has already been laid to follow ? Have I become someone who is just dreaming of a dream life rather than living a life of dreams ? And not surprisingly my mind’s answer to all those questions was “I don’t know.. why should I think of it now.. I have better things to do.. Let me surf the net for starters” but shockingly and as it always is my heart’s answer to all those questions was an YES.. A BIG YES.. !!
Now as a teenager I had been of the impression and beliefs that I will change the world.. A good academic background made me feel that I was born to be someone who will make a difference to the world's tomorrow.. A decent value system in my home and college life made me feel that a goody goody world exists outside my college gates in which i can share my feelings, knowledge and do something in order to become somene who would be proud of having lived a "memorable" life.. But as the great DJ of Rang De Basanti fame once said “ Bahar ki Duniya mein achey achey DJ pis jhaathey hain.. College dhee gate kay ess tharaf hum lifeko nachathay hain tho gate kay uus tharaf life hamko nachaathee hain.. Tim lakh lakh thay tim lakh lakh..” And how true it is !!
Believe me, I haven’t had any failures nor did I experience any ultimate scolding from anyone which has caused me any disappointment forcing me to write this blog.. I have been a part of the our country's no.1 IT Major for an year and will soon be leaving to pursue my Master's degree in one of the most presitigious universities in the U.S.. But then as I see the road ahead for me.. All I would have is a 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. Job.. a huge part of which involves waiting for the weekends, a nice little home and family that I would be desperate to go to throughout the day and when I do go in the end, all I manage and want to do is Sleep.. a routine life or should I say a life that would be waiting for its “death” under the name “Settled” !!
Well I do not mean to offend anyone here.. And if you think your life is going to be different from what I said above and you think I am definitely wrong.. well my blog ends for you here..
And for those rest who even after knowing a 22 year old, so called engineer is generally 99 % wrong in everything he states for he neither has the "experience" nor is he properly “educated”, with the practical senses of the world to be "talented", "powerful" enough to mould the world to his desired shape want to read ahead, well my second part of this article will be coming up soon..